Subtitle created by - Aorion - "Minions 2015" ^ (Run time : 01:23:52)
Minions.
Minions have been on this planet far longer than we have.
They go by many names.
Dave, Carl, Paul, Mike.
Oh, that one is Norbert.
He's an idiot.
They're all different. But they all share the same goal.
To serve the most despicable master they could find.
BOSS!
Making their master happy was the tribe's very reason for existence.
But that's not to say that they didn’t have other passions.
- Look. It's a banana. - Move over.
It's a banana. Ha-hah-ha.
Yum yum. Huh?
Finding a Boss was easy.
But keeping a Boss... therein lies the problem
Whoa!
Oh.
I am... oaf. Aw.
Nope, it wasn't easy for these guys.
But they never gave up.
With the emergence of the stone age came the rise of a new species.
Man was very different from the dinosaur.
He was shorter, hairier and way, way smarter.
The minions took an instant liking to Man and helped him as best they could.
Oh, no no... Here. A present.
- This? - Yes yes yes.
For hitting. Ut-ut.
Aw!
Poor man. So trusting, so fragile, so-so delicious.
Their quest for a boss put the minions front and center for some of the civilization most historic moments.
Ancient Egypt held great promise.
Okay!
But it didn't last long.
Hmm. Oh.
Here. Yup.
Aw!
The dark ages were actually fun times.
Their new master had a tendency to party all night and sleep all day.
Ahem. Yoo-hoo.
[Happy Anniversary]
Oh.
Oh, eventually the party is over.
Achoo.
They bounce from one evil master to another.
But they never seemed to find their perfect fit.
One particular employer took their failure very very badly.
The Minions had no other choice but to keep moving.
And then, when all hopes seem lost.
They found sanctuary.
The Minions were safe.
Years passed as the Minions forged their own civilization.
They truly made a life for themselves.
But something just wasn't right.
They felt empty inside. Without a master, they had no purpose.
They became aimless
and depressed.
If this continue any longer, the Minions would perish.
But all was not lost, for one Minion had a plan.
His name was Kevin.
He was excited to share his idea with the tribe.
He'd been preparing for days, weeks, months.
But now he was ready...
Kevin would leave the cave, go back to the outside world
and he would not return until he had found his tribe the biggest baddest villain deserved.
But he needed help.
Me! Me. Choose me.
Bob was eager to go. - Kevin?
But Kevin felt he was just not strong enough for the dangerous journey ahead.
Uh no. One other Minion!
Me. Choose me.
Me! Choose me! Aw.
Me!
Come, choose me.
Luckily someone stepped up.
- Huh? - Stuart! Come here.
Huh. Me? Me? Oh, thank you.
Truth be told. Stuart had no idea what he was chose for.
Huh! Wh-Why?
But was thrilled that people cheered for him.
One more!
ME! I am strong.
See here.
See!
- Oh. - Oh.
Uh... okay. One more.
Kevin. Choose me.
Please. Choose me, Kevin.
- Come here. - Yeah! Ha ha.
Eventually, Bob's energy and enthusiasm
but mostly lack of other volunteers changed Kevin's mind.
- Kumbaya! - Kumbaya!
Kumbaya.
Big boss! Big boss!
The tribe said their farewells.
Kevin had given them something they haven't had in a long time.
Hope. - Kevin.
Bob. (Big boss! Big boss!)
Hey. Tony, good luck to you.
Tom. Take care.
And Chris. See you later.
- Hey Bob, you coming. - Yes, yes.
Big boss! Big boss!
Bye bye.
Kevin felt pride. He was going to be the one to save his tribe.
Stuart felt, hungry mostly.
He was going to be the one to eat this banana.
- And Bob - Oh.
Bob was frightened of the journey ahead.
And they were off.
Off, to find their new boss.
New York 1968
- Oh, look at that one. - Whoa!
Whoa. Look at that one.
- Peace! - Make love, not war!
Peace to the world.
The store is now closing.
- Hey, what are you doing? - Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Bob, where you? - Get away from that.
Oh, Kevin.
And welcome back to the Dating Game.
Well Jennifer. Have you decided
which of these 3 gentlemen, you'll go on a date with?
- Is it Bob? - Yeah. Go Bob.
- Kevin. - Look, it's Kevin.
- Or will it be Stuart? - Oh. Yo, Stuart.
Gosh. This is so hard. They all sounded so cute.
I think I'm going to go with...
V... N... C...
You're watching the top secret Villain Network Channel.
If you tell anyone, we'll find you.
Sponsored by Villain-Con.
For 89 years straight. The biggest gathering of criminals anywhere.
Attend guest lectures from esteem villains.
Make contacts in the underworld community.
And, for the first time anywhere,
Scarlet Overkill !
Evil. So evil.
- Criminal genius. - Hey. Girl's got to make a living.
- Move aside, men. - Make way.
- There's a new bad man in town. - Excuse me.
And that man is a woman.
- Crime isn't ready. - It's red hot.
Get to Villain-Con this weekend.
Only at 545 Points Avenue, Orlando, Florida.
So much fun, it's a crime. Heh-heh-heh.
- Villain-Con, Orlando. - Woo hoo. - Ha-ha-ha.
[NEW YORK]
Oh yeah, far out.
Welcome to Wayne, buddy.
Oh, Walter look. These adorable little freaks are heading to Orlando too.
Yeah, I see that. Hey, Walter Junior.
- What's happening? - Tina. - Hi.
Pinkie. What do you say we give these fellows a ride?
- New friends. - All aboard the Nelson Express.
You, one eye, You're sitting next to me.
Glad we came along before some weirdos picked you up.
Who wants apple slices?
Oh, you too.
Growing of a... boy like... creatures need their strength.
Yeah.
Thanks, man.
Alrighty. Who needs to stretch their legs?
-Yeah! - Me me me.
You wait right here. We'll be right back.
Okay, Nelsons. Let's do this.
Go. Go go go.
Okey dokey, on the road again.
Dad, we got company. It's because I tripped the alarm.
- I stink. - Hey.
We all make mistakes, sugar plum. You're still learning.
Whoa. What!
- Your father's right, Tina. - Reload.
- He wasn’t this good at being evil overnight. - Reload.
Your time is coming.
Ah, it's jammed.
Huh?
- Okay, who did that? - It's Stuart.
- But but. - That was great.
Ha ha ha. Thank you.
Say, fellows. Can I get personal for a second?
Why are you going to Orlando?
Come on, you can tell us, You're going to Villain-Con, aren't you?
Yes, Villain-Con.
Villain-Con.
Wow, so many bad guys in the car.
- What fun. - I knew it.
I knew you were villains. Didn't I, honey?
What a small world. Hope we're not in rival gangs.
Heh heh heh.
Pinkie, don't.
Baby, huh?
When we get to Orlando, I'm going to get my favorite villains to sign my magazine.
Dumo the Sumo.
Oh, Kevin! You don't want to work for him. He ate his last henchman.
Frankie Fishlips. He lives in the ocean.
Uh.
- Can you breathe under water? - So so.
Oh oh oh. Look at her, Scarlet Overkill.
The coolest supervillain, like ever.
She started out as your average little girl. Bracers, pig tails.
But, by the time she was 13, She built a criminal empire.
If I was a Minion, that's who I would work for.
- Here we are, a beautiful Orlando. - Yeah, we're here!
Orlando Coming soon!
BAIT SHOP
Hey gang, watch this.
Welcome to the bait shop, how can I help you?
Yeah, hi.
We are here for so much fun, It's a crime,
Woo-hoo. Yeh!
We're at Villain-Con. We're at Villain-Con!
LUV.2.ROB NEW YORK
Alright, here we go.
Well, this is it. I want to tell you and I really I mean this.
I'm really appreciate what you did back there with the cops. Really.
Dad! It's Frankie Fishlips.
- I can smell him from here! - Junior, get my camera.
Good luck in there, boys.
I hope you find what you are looking for.
- Yeah, bye. - Bye.
- And here comes Villain-Con! - Ha ha.
- Yeah! - Villain-Con. - Ya-hoo.
Any evil talents?
Not bad.
What about you? Any evil talents?
Hello. La la la. La la la. Eh?
That's not evil, or a talent.
Hello! Laa! Ha ha.
No?
I'm sorry, but I'm not looking for any more servants.
Because I, Professor Flux,
have invented the world's first Time machine,
Every time I visit the future, I bring my future self back to help me.
Hello.
Who's that over there, Professor Flux from 2 weeks from now?
As you can see, I don't need any help.
Oh. Way to go, guys. We killed the original.
- Huh! - Aw!
Shit.
Villain-Con, I present our keynote speaker.
Scarlet Overkill. The world's first female supervillain.
Appearing right now in Hall 8.
Are you ready?
Go. Scarlet Overkill.
Ha.
Doesn't it feel so good to be bad?
- Scarlet. Scarlet. - Hu-hu-hu.
Ha-ha-ha...
Wow. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Okay. Shh shh shh.
When I started out, people said a woman could never rob a bank as well as a man. Well.
Time's changed.
I love you, Scarlet!
Look at all those faces out there, we are all so different.
But we have one thing in common.
We were born with flippers.
No? Just me?
Okay.
We have big dreams, and we will do anything to make them come true.
Have any of you ever dreamt of working for the greatest supervillain of all time?
Heh-heh-heh. Well.
What if I were to tell you, that I am looking for a new henchman!
I truly believe somewhere out there is a villain with the potential to serve greatness.
- And it could be any of you. - Whoa.
Although let's not kid ourselves.
Truly the man for this job are Kevin and his Minions.
10 times the evil and half the package.
I'm just in awe.
Let's hear it for Kevin. He saved his tribe!
Kevin! Kevin!
- Kevin Kevin Kev... - Hey, Kevin. Hey.
Aw.
So. How should we do this?
Hmm. Oh.
You see this tiny little trinket?
Well, just take it from my hand and you got the job.
No big deal, it's almost too simple.
Eh heh heh.
Oh, come on, don't be afraid. Just take the stone and get that job.
- Come on. - Oh, okay.
- That job is my. - Uhf.
Now, go easy on me.
Heh-heh-heh-
Aw!
Love the costume.
Ha!
So cool!
Is no one good enough?
Bob!
Hi ya!
Awk.
Didn't my speech inspired anyone
to rise up and prove themselves worthy?
All these villains, and yet I still have the- bear.
Stuffed bear. Why am I holding a bear?
- Oh. - Who has the ruby?
Wow. Who-Who are you?
My... knights in shiny denim.
- I'm Kevin. This is Stuart. - Yo. - And Bob.
- Minions! - That was incredible.
Behold, the last creatures you expect to win the day.
The emerged victorious.
Everyone, meet my new henchmen.
The Minions!
- Kumbaya! Ha ha! - Kumbaya!
Kumbaya!
Hey! I know those guys. I gave them a ride here.
Woo. Hoo-hoo-hoo.
Buckle up, boys. Next stop, England.
Hello. Hey, Kevin.
Eh. With Boss, in England.
Oh. Uh...hello Kevin. Did-Did you say England.
Uh-huh. The boss, yes.
Scarlet Overkill. Ah.
Hello. Hello?
Oh. He hung up. Hello.
Wow.
Here we go. Come here.
By the way. I really like your bear.
- Herb, my baby. - You know I am.
How did it go? Were you evil?
- So evil. - Oh!
A little bird dropped this off today.
I Missed You! ♥ H.
It's me, I'm the "H".
Also, there's no birds. Also me.
Herb, seriously.
I want to dig up that William Shakespeare,
so he can see what true writing is.
I love it.
That works because I love you.
Well, I love you too.
Boys. Could you come here please?
Meet my husband, Herb. Inventor, super genius, fox.
Herb, these are the new recruits.
Kevin, Stuart and that cute little one is Bob.
Right on. You guys are crazy little and way yellow, and I digged that.
Sweet, man.
- Wow. - Cool house.
I know, right?
Just a few thing I stole to help fill the void.
Checking out my can?
We stole that because finally
someone expressed my love of soup in painting form.
- Wow. - Woo.
Okay, listen up. It is time to get down to business.
Do you know who this is?
Uh. La cockroach?
This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England.
I love England. Their music, the fashion.
I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday.
Anyway. This pale drinking water oversees it all.
I'm her biggest fan, loved her work.
And I really really really want her crown.
Stealing the crown and all your dreams come true.
Respect!
Power!
Banana!
Huh, Henry!
No. Oh oh, no.
Don't get too close, boys.
When it's completed, it will be my ultimate weapon. But.
Right now, it's leaking radiation. Like you would not believe.
So you're here for gear.
- Bob, Robert, Bobby my boy. - Yes?
You get my far out stretch suit.
Kevin, Kevo, Seventh Kevin.
You are the proud owner of my Lava Lamp gun.
This baby shoots actual lava.
Pretty cool, right?
And finally, Stu, Stu-art, Stuperman, Pitstu.
I got you the coolest invention, probably ever.
Hypno hat!
You can use it to hypnotize anyone.
Anyone!
Oh, you look so great.
I feel like a proud mama with 3 dashing evil sons.
Uh. Scarlet. Scarlet.
No, no, don't say anything, I wouldn't understand.
It's getting late, you had a big day. You must be exhausted.
Wow. He can sure bounce.
Well, maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story.
How does that sound, Bob?
Bob? Bob? Bob!
Oh. Bedtime story?
That, is a groovy idea,
I'll go get some cookies and warm milk. This is going to be so fun!
And the bedtime story.
Oh, yes, I've got a really really good bedtime borey.
Once upon a time there were 3 little pigs.
One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big bad wolf,
who had a wonderful surprise for them,
The wolf offered the 3 piggies and all their friends a job working for her.
Everyone would be so happy.
All the 3 little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown.
That the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub.
Unloved and abandoned.
But that crown would mean she was a princess.
And everybody loves the princess.
So, the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown.
But the little piggies weren't up to the challenge.
They failed their mission.
So the wolf huffed and puffed
and she blew them off the face of the earth.
The End.
Good luck getting the crown tomorrow, little piggies.
I know you won't disappoint me.
Tower of London
Tower of London - LONDON
Hello. 3 please.
You are not allowed to enter without an adult.
Scram, hooligans.
How many tickets, please?
3, please.
1 please. 1.
- Enjoy yourself, love. - Thank you.
Hey! What are you doing here?
This is a restricted area!
Hands in the air!
Let me do it.
Stop that!
Get back!
So.
You came for the queen's crown, did you?
Well, you're gonna have to get through me.
The keeper! Of the crown.
You think it's funny to mock the elderly, do ya?
I've been up here for decades.
Just waiting for someone to try and steal the queen's treasure.
Okay. Me will do it.
What are you saying? And I don't care!
Hee hee. Ha ha ha.
Oh no, you don't.
Get out of the way.
Hello.
- Stop the bloke! - Stop him, men!
- To the legs. - Freeze.
Aw. Manic.
Kevin!
The Queen's been kidnapped, Sgt.
Blimey!
- What's going on? - Hello.
Gentlemen do not steal ladies' crowns!
Oh, no no no...
Oh-Oh dear!
You scoundrel. After them!
Stop the blighter!
- Stop the blighter! [SWORD IN THE STONE]
You're surrounded.
Oh, blimey!
One of England's most famous myths has become a reality.
As a new king has been crowned.
Bob, who appears to be a bald jaundice child
Has pulled the famed sword right from it's stone
which legend dictates, makes him the new king,
Tiny yellow traitor!
Ah-ha-ha. England!
England!
England.
- England. - England.
Hello, King Bob.
Welcome to Buckingham Palace.
Uh. No.
Oh. What's the matter, Your Majesty?
Whatever is bothering you, we can make it right.
- Just name it. - Oh.
King Bob!
- Yeh! - Hurrah!
- King Bob! - Yeh.
King Bob!
Whoa, wait.
- Yee-ha! - King Bob.
Yes, King Bob.
King Bob?
Ball...
How dare you. Aw!
Scarlet.
Don't you Scarlet me. You backstabbing little traitors!
Using Herb's inventions to steal my crown!
I feel used not going to lie.
You stole my dream.
I was going to conquer England some day.
There was going to be a coronation.
And I was going to be made queen,
Every moment was planned.
I would wear a dress so sparkly and glowed.
And everyone whoever doubted me
Would be watching and they would be crying.
I was going to be the picture of elegance and class!
And you pinheads screwed it up!
No no no. The crown, for you.
No, no no. King Bob.
You cannot just abdicate the throne.
Who invited the square?
And you definitely cannot just give the job to this woman.
There are laws.
Laws?
Bob King has official changed the law.
Clearing the way for Scarlet Overkill to be crowned Queen of England,
She will be coronated at London's historic Westminster Abbey.
If I'm wasn't so polite,
I say this spells certain doom for the country,
If not, the world.
But, I'm so very polite, that I shall keep my mouth shut.
But, seriously, we are all in big trouble.
I don't have time to answer any questions.
I'm just above and beyond the call of duty.
You are 3 tiny golden pill shaped miracle workers.
And you have stolen not just England, but my heart.
- Scarlet, over here. - Over here.
Pardon Me?
Wow, so many.
Good for you,
Well. You all get what you deserved.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Problem.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way.
But I hate you.
I thought I could get over what you did.
But I feel so betrayed.
I think, yes, I think we're gonna have to break up.
And it's not you.
Oh wait, hold on.
It is you. It's a 100% you.
Huh. No no.
So get comfortable, Minions. Get real real comfortable.
Because this is where you're going to spend the rest of your worthless little lives.
Alright, let's do this.
Who's this handsome Herb fellow? No, My name is Blerb.
I'm a-a dungeon master.
Prepared for torture, which I do.
Alright, are we comfy?
Doesn't matter. This is torture.
Wow, harder than I thought. Next machine.
Oh, welcome to hang town. Population, you.
Cut it that. This is really unprofessional.
No laughing in the dungeon,
I want to see tears and I want to hear screams.
Or I'm gonna get..
- Wait. - Hey.
Eww, I've got a groovy idea.
Look at this. Ah-ha-ha.
Hello, the future King Herb Overkill.
Please come upstairs to prepare for the coronation.
Well, I hope you learn your lesson for today.
And by the way, it was me, Herb, the whole time.
I don't even know anyone named Blerb.
I am hours away from becoming the Queen of England.
I know, it's a gas.
- I will finally get my crown. - Yeah.
It's all I ever wanted.
I'm going to be so happy.
But, let me ask you something, Fabrice.
Does that, look like this to you?
Mrs. Overkill, the hair in the picture is just 2 wavy lines.
So. So what now, you're an art critic?
I drew that when I was 5 years old.
Get out of my sight.
Bye, Fabrice.
I liked him, he was fun.
So, what do you think of the dress?
Oh, it's so beautiful,
so fashion forward, so Valentino.
Got the sweetheart neckline because you're my sweetheart.
The high colored and cinch waist reflect a simpler more valentine.
The material is a blend of taffeta
and high density body armor.
Fully armed and loaded.
And they glow. That's nuclear.
Nice. Just one more thing to do.
Got to look good for the public.
- Do you mind? - My pleasure.
A little tighter, sweetie. Come on, I can take it.
A little tighter.
Tighter.
Must have tighter waist.
Seems to work. Seems to work.
Losing feeling in my legs.
Perfect. Tight, tight tight tight.
Bob, Stuart.
- Huh? - Help me.
Lift up. Lift up.
Help me. Help me!
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS
SORRY SCARLET
I love you, Scarlet!
Queen wave. Queen wave. Queen waving.
I'm so so excited. This is perfect. Everyone looks so nice.
Oh, you're just adorable.
Oh. Yes!
And that music.
Who is that organist? She's good.
Right? She looks like an Edna.
- Edna! You're very good. - Who's that?
Thanks for doing this, Padre. Big fan.
Come here, let me squeeze you. You're so squishy.
Will you to your power cause Law and Justice, in Mercy,
Do you Scarlet Overkill...
I proclaim thee, Scarlet Overkill, the Queen of England.
Kevin.
Scarlet. Scarlet. My queen.
Somebody help me!
Come on, come on. Lift on 2.
1, 2...
- Scarlet, you're okay. - He tried to kill me!
Guys. This is no longer a coronation.
It is an execution!
Get them!
Whoa Nelly! Run fellows, run!
You are mine.
Hey. I've got one.
Mind the gap.
Now, what about this one.
Why did the Queen go to the dentist?
To get her teeth crowned. Ha-ha-ha.
Tell us another one, Lizzie.
Oh, it's you,
Everyone, this is one of the little fellows who stole the monarchy from me.
And hows that working out for you?
Oh, yes yes. I saw what was going on, on the telly.
What was meant to be the coronation of Scarlet Overkill has gone terribly wrong.
Kevin. Kevin. I know you're out there.
You think you'd gotten away, well, what do we have here?
Bob? Stuart?
Which one shall I kill first?
Little Bob. Stuart. Bob. Stuart. Hmm.
I will do it, Kevin, if you're not back here by dawn.
Oh my.
There he is.
Follow me.
Harder. It's just my head.
This way. Go get him. Go-go-go...
[DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON ⇒]
[DO NOT FLIP THIS SWITCH]
[DO NOT PULL THIS LEVER!]
[DO NOT BLOW IN THIS HOLE ⇒] Ultimate weapon initiated.
Activation in
3.
2.
1.
Hello.
This is it, boys.
Things do not look good for you.
Oh. And I'm keeping the bear.
You're not going to need it in where you're going.
Heaven.
Bye bye. Say bye bye, Bob. Bye bye.
Wait, what? How did he?
Hold my bear.
So, that's your plan?
Make yourself a bigger target? Ha-ha-ha.
YAH!
Ha ha ha ha.
And so help me.
I never want to see another one of your goofy buttered faces ever again!
Scarlet! Scarlet!
What?
Scarlet! Scarlet!
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Oh no, you don't. Ha!
And just for the record, my little double eggs.
You can thank Kevin for what I'm about to do to you!
Aw! Ou! Ou.
Tony! Hey hey.
Tom! And Chris!
Eww.
Enough!
This... ends... now...!
Ha-ha-ha, you imbecile. Have fun exploding.
Take me home...
- What's the rush? - Got to get out of here.
Let... us... go!
Whoa!
No, no no no...
KEVIN!
Look!
Ouch.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We are here today to celebrate the Minions.
The country owes you a great debt of gratitude.
Bob, you were a wise and noble king for all of 8 hours.
So for you, I offer this tiny crown
for your Teddy Bear, Tim.
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh. Very good, Bob.
Oh... Oh, spectacular!
I'm so proud of you boys.
- Oh, Stuart. - Ah.
For you, I have this beautiful, super duper incredible
snow globe.
And, look look.
Hours of excitement.
Oh, ah. Yippee. Thank you.
Oh, Stuart. We're just messing with you.
Don't be mad at me. It's was ​Kevin's idea.
We have a much better surprise for you.
Here. A Super Mega Ukulele.
Wo-Wow. Cool.
Thank you.
Right.
And finally, Kevin.
You are hero of the highest order.
For your bravery and valor, I am knighting you.
From here on out, you are Sir Kevin.
Well done.
What a beautiful moment.
- Kumbaya! - Kumbaya!
The nation and the world was celebrating Kevin, Stuart, and Bob,
that last few thousand years weren't enough.
No question but things were finally going their way.
Kevin had never been more proud.
But something was missing.
Ha ha, yes. Good show Good show.
My crown is gone. It's gone!
- Blimey! - She lost the crown.
Ha-ha-ha...
They took everything from me.
My castle. My reputation.
Things looked bleak, baby, I'm not gonna lie.
But now, at least, I have my crown!
Fellow, give me that back.
No, I don't think so.
You have no idea who you are messing with.
I'm the greatest supervillain of all time.
Oh, were you?
Are you really going to allow that little penguin to make off with my crown?
Oh, Herb. I'm done.
For Me? Oh.
Yes, for you. Bye bye.
Big boss!
And that is how the Minions found their new boss.
He was cunning. He was evil.
He was perfect.
He was...
despicable.
Subtitle created by - Aorion -
www.moviesubtitles.org